Faith and who you are
Faith and love: for many they go hand in hand. And for many people on Bonaire, faith, family and identity are deeply intertwined. Whether you are Catholic, Protestant, Adventist, a Jehovah's Witness or hold another belief: there is room here for your question.
And then there's that other question. The one you may have carried for years: How can I be myself and remain faithful to what I believe? How can I love God and love myself?
You're not the first to ask this question. People of faith all over the world wrestle with this same tension, and many have found a path where they didn't have to give up any part of who they are.
Faith and identity: can they go together?
Around the world, religious people (Catholics, Protestants, Adventists) live as both LGBTQ+ and faithful. They did not choose sides. They searched, prayed and found a way. There are faith communities, including in the Caribbean, that are deliberately welcoming to everyone. You do not have to leave your faith to be yourself. The path may be difficult, but you do not walk it alone.
If you are LGBTQ+ and a believer
Many believing LGBTQ+ people around the world search for a way where faith and identity can exist alongside each other. Not by choosing one over the other, but by searching honestly and talking. There are theologians, spiritual counsellors and faith communities willing to walk this path with you, from their own faith, with respect for yours. Some congregations in Bonaire and Curaçao are intentionally inclusive; EQ Bonaire can help you find them. You don't have to walk this path alone.
If you're a parent and faith plays a role
Your faith is a strength, even when you face difficult questions. Faith and love for your child don't need to be opposites. There are believing parents who have gone before you, who have searched and prayed, and found their way. Love for your child and love for God do not exclude each other.
If you're a church leader or youth worker
As a pastor, youth worker or counsellor within a faith community you face real and difficult questions. How do you deal with LGBTQ+ members in your congregation? How do you protect the confidentiality of someone who comes to you (including from the church board or congregation members)? How do you create a climate where everyone feels safe, including those who find it hard to be open? EQ Bonaire can also serve as a discreet point of contact for questions you would rather not discuss within your own community. There are networks and counsellors available from a faith perspective who can support you in this.
No one may force you to change
Conversion practices (attempts to 'cure' or suppress someone's sexual orientation or gender identity) are harmful and condemned by the World Health Organization (WHO) and international human rights organizations. No one may force, humiliate or shame you for who you are, not even in the name of faith.
“Some people who come here say they believe God knows them, fully as they are. Others are still searching for answers. Both are welcome here.”
You don't have to make any choices here. You can just sit with the question.
Further resources
FOKO: Papiamentu-speaking LGBTQ+ organization on Curaçao, in a similar Caribbean and cultural context. Also relevant for Bonaireans who live, work or study on Curaçao, or who want contact in Papiamentu.
COC Netherlands: anonymous information and conversations via Switchboard (chat, email, phone)
International faith community for LGBTQ+ Christians. Also offers articles and materials that help church leaders understand how believing LGBTQ+ people experience their faith and what they need from their congregation.
qchristian.orgLooking for a faith community on Bonaire where you can be yourself? EQ Bonaire knows the local religious landscape and can help you find your way.
Send EQ Bonaire a message →Practical guide for church leaders and workers
When someone (congregation member, young person or parent) comes to you with questions about LGBTQ+ identity or faith, that is a moment of great trust. How you respond determines whether they ever return. This guide applies regardless of your own theological position: receiving someone with care requires humanity, not ready-made answers.
What helps
- Listen fully: ask questions, summarize, do not interrupt
- Name the trust explicitly: 'I'm glad you're sharing this with me'
- Affirm the person, separate from the question: 'You are welcome here'
- Ask at the start: 'What do you need from this conversation today?'
- Be honest about what you know and what you don't know
- Discuss confidentiality: what you may share and with whom
- Refer to EQ Bonaire or MHC if this falls outside your expertise
What can cause harm
- Don't press for a choice or decision: this increases shame and isolation
- Don't share anything without explicit consent, not in prayer circles or pastoral meetings
- Don't refer to conversion practices: the WHO condemns these as harmful
- Don't promise quick answers to deep life questions
- Don't start by explaining what your congregation believes. Listen first
Confidentiality on a small island
On Bonaire, confidentiality is especially fragile. An unintended remark in a group, meeting or a glance that reveals something can dramatically change someone's situation. Discuss in advance what you may and may not share, and hold strictly to that, including towards the church board. Unsure about your own role? EQ Bonaire and supervisors outside the island can support you without naming anyone.