Professionals

You can be a safe adult

You work on a small island. Sometimes you know your clients as neighbors, churchgoers or through family. That makes your role complex, but also valuable. International research shows that one supportive adult in the life of an LGBTQ+ young person can significantly reduce the risk of suicidal thoughts.

You don't need to have all the answers. Your role is: provide safety, listen, handle confidentiality carefully, and refer warmly.

Recognizing signs

  • Social withdrawal or noticeably changed behavior
  • Bullying, being bullied, or avoiding group situations
  • Persistent low self-esteem, depression or sudden mood changes
  • Avoiding home, school or church activities
  • Asking questions about sexuality or gender, directly or indirectly
  • Speaking negatively about themselves or the future: 'I don't belong', 'things will never get better'
  • Excessive need for approval or complete withdrawal from contact

How to open a conversation

  1. 1Choose a quiet, private moment: one-on-one, no time pressure or distractions
  2. 2Start broadly: 'How are you really?' or 'I've noticed something different lately'
  3. 3Listen fully first. Don't interrupt, don't judge
  4. 4Use the words the person uses to describe their own identity
  5. 5Don't force a label or definition. It's okay to stay uncertain
  6. 6Confirm that you're there: 'I'm glad you told me this' and 'You can always come back with this'
  7. 7Refer to appropriate help if you're not the right person: do it by name, with warmth

Do say

  • 'You can always come to me, even when it's hard'
  • 'I listen without judgment, genuinely'
  • 'We'll figure out what's needed together, at your pace'
  • 'Thank you for sharing this with me'

Don't say

  • 'It's probably just a phase': this undermines what they've entrusted to you
  • 'Your parents need to know about this': this is the young person's choice, not yours
  • 'God made you this way, but...': the 'but' negates everything before it
  • 'I don't understand it, but...': this unintentionally minimizes what they shared and places the burden back on them

Confidentiality on a small island

As a professional you know the dilemmas of a small community. Discuss in advance with the client what you may share and with whom. Never mention names in other conversations, not even implicitly. Be aware of your own networks: if you're a churchgoer in the same congregation as the client, that can create a role conflict. In that case, seek supervision for yourself as well. On Bonaire the Beschermingscode Huiselijk Geweld en Kindermishandeling (HGKM) has applied since 1 January 2025. Important: this provides a right to report, not a mandatory reporting duty. When serious danger is suspected, follow the five-step code before deciding whether to report. Consult your professional body or advisory centre if in doubt.

Self-care for the professional

Working with vulnerable young people or clients on a small island can be heavy, especially when you're also part of the same community yourself. Are you yourself LGBTQ+? Then you too may carry extra weight in this work. You're allowed to seek support too. Supervision, peer consultation or an anonymous conversation with a colleague elsewhere can help.

When you struggle with your own role

If you as a care provider or counsellor struggle with the combination of your professional role and personal or religious convictions: you are not alone on Bonaire. Care providers are always obliged to make a professional referral if they themselves are not the most suitable person for a client. Supervision or peer consultation (including outside Bonaire) can provide space to explore this without judgement.

Resources and documentation

The organisations below offer practical guides, training and professional guidelines for those working with LGBTQ+ clients or students.

Movisie: Supporting young people with LGBT feelings

Practical guide from Movisie specifically for professionals working with LGBT youth: recognition, conversation techniques and referral.

movisie.nl/publicatie/hoe-ondersteun-je-jongeren-lhbt-gevoelens →

Movisie: Stayin' Alive. Suicide prevention for LGBT youth

Guide on suicide prevention specifically aimed at LGBT youth: risk factors, protective factors and what professionals can do.

movisie.nl/publicatie/stayin-alive-voorkom-zelfmoord-onder-lhbt-jongeren →

COC Netherlands: For professionals

COC offers training and teaching materials for schools and institutions, and has a Switchboard line for professionals with questions about LGBTQ+ topics.

coc.nl →

Quality standard LGBTQ+ care (NHG/KNMG)

Dutch guidelines for GPs and healthcare professionals supporting LGBTQ+ patients, including trans care and psychological support.

nhg.org →

This information does not replace professional guidelines, reporting codes or legal advice. In cases of acute danger or suspected abuse, follow applicable reporting procedures and professional rules.